It's the Final Countdown: What to do when there's nothing left to do

My, my, my... how a year has flown! In this, what I anticipate may be one, if not the final update to this blog, I would like to thank each and every one of those people who

a) read the blog over this past year

b) got some amount of pleasure, enjoyment, intrigue, or humor out of it, no matter how big or small

c) were there to support me in the various tough times this year has presented

d) were there to enrich my year abroad with good conversation, useful life tips and cheap drinks

Trying to live abroad is like trying to separate yourself from yourself - it becomes an enormous challenge, a balancing act of trying to control two lives that can by definition never become one. As Bilbo said, "like butter spread over too much bread." After a year, acclimation has been slow and steady, and enlightening in more than one way. In the end though, all such things good and bad must end, and that emulsifier known simply as time will work its magic, condensing the droplets that hang in the oil-on-water of life. What remains in the end is a brand new product, a brand new person and a brand new outlook on like.

My favorite proverb as of late goes a little something like this: "He who leaves on a journey is not the same as he who returns." I won't bore you with the details, but just remember this: change is inevitable and inexorable, and the best we can all do is simply to recognize sooner rather than later that whether the journey was good or bad, in the end it becomes a part of your past.  This means two things:

a) the pain you once felt will only subside further over time

b) the person you wished you had become is the person you probably are now

Of course, returning from a journey brings about that infamous "reverse culture shock" that so many of us JETs may struggle with eventually:

-trying to revive old relationships with family, friends, others;

-remembering that you're not supposed to bow to the clerk at the store anymore; 

-hiding your disgust of the relatively low-technology toilets in America; 

-relishing in the safety of paper towels that seem to be absent in so many public bathrooms here; 

-the comfort and privacy of driving your own car, and the subsequent loss of a belovedly efficient, if not romantically so, train system;

-the mental awakening that everyone you met and grew to know over the journey is no longer a part of your life;

-the mental awakening that everyone you left and grew apart from has done their own leaving and growing;

In summary, a summary is impossible - there's no turn of the tongue, no phrase appropriate enough, nor enough trees in all the world to commit such experiences to reality. Rather, they will stay with all of us - some of us will continue on in Japan, others will return and look for work, and probably flail for a while. Still others will feel right at home as before they left, while others will realize only once they've landed back in their home country that they've made a terrible and irreversible error. Others still may become stuck in the land between East and West, unable to rectify the cognitive dissonance of culture clash. My only wish for all these individuals is that they find their way and look back on the journey knowing that whatever happened, happened, and that hindsight will almost always make you feel a fool in times of stress, confusion, or directionless meandering along the path of life.

That being said, last night I said my first goodbye to someone in Choshi, and while alcohol helped keep the sad feelings at bay, it was a shocking, piercing reminder that things are about to get to very rocky, indeed. Of course, a Japanese style barbecue was more than appropriate. Here is the take-home message from last night's incredible American-Japanese style fusion fish, beef, chicken, spare ribs, and vegetable barbecue:

In other words: if you spend your whole life avoiding the head, you'll never get the whole picture. A good goading to be a man and eat the damn things head first is pretty inspiring talk coming from the party host - and I have to admit that these fishes are pretty great, head, guts, brains and bones included. From now on, I hope I can have the courage to eat life by the head instead of taking the easy way out.

As these last weeks come to a quick runaway end, I look forward to doing all I can to continue the relationships I've made in Japan and try to revive the ones I left at home - wherever "home" is anymore. 

A very sincere for everyone's support over this year . Really, I mean it. 

To other JETs, family and friends, thank you and ありがとう.

ジャ、マタ。